Trust is built one conversation at a time

Trust is not a value on the wall. It is a habit between two people.

You cannot announce it. You cannot buy it. You build it one conversation at a time.

The most memorable lesson I have from my dad goes back to when I was very young. I had the habit of doing whatever came to my mind and not following the rules. At the end of each situation I got caught. And every time my dad said the same thing: trust is built in years and lost in one second.

I still hear it. It works the same way at work.

Most organisations try the opposite. A new value. A workshop. An offsite. Then everyone goes back to their desk and nothing changes.

What works is simpler.

1. Pair people. Trust starts between two people, not between a person and a company.
2. Keep the gap small. Someone one step ahead understands you better than someone ten steps ahead.
3. Make it regular. One great conversation is a nice memory. Four conversations over three months is a relationship.
4. Make it safe to ask for help. This is the real test of trust.

I learned the last one the hard way. Where I grew up, asking for help felt like weakness. My mentor showed me it is the opposite. That mentor is now my co-founder.

Ask yourself:

• Who in your team would ask for help today?
• Who would they ask?
• What would stop them?

Culture is what people do when nobody is watching. Start with two people.